Alektorophobia re-revisited

So Shannon Elizabeth is scared of being sodomised by a chicken, is she?

I can imnagine it wouldn't be the best of experiences, but imagine how they must feel when the boot's on the other foot, as it were....

Fact of the day

According to the BBC, and after the recent story of the cat that predicts the deaths of old people in a home: Dogs with an acute sense of smell can detect cancer and predict epileptic seizures.

Examples given:

• A woman in Wiltshire said her Chihuahua detected her breast cancer on three occasions
• A Dalmatian kept smelling a freckle that the owner discovered was a malignant tumour

Like a Dolphin

Who'd have thunk it?

Dying has its rough edge
no escaping now
The warden has his eye on me
his bad eye
I'm doing hard time now
In solitary
locked down
I'm not the first nor the last
I'm just telling you how it is
I sit in my own shadow now
the face of the people grows dim
The old songs still play
hand on my chin
I dream of nothing
while my lost childhood
leaps like a dolphin
in the frozen sea

Ghouls Night Out

Gorgonas and Los Carniceros del Norte at De Profundis in Madrid on 21 July, 2007. Appearing in the photos, apart from my good self, are the lovely Marisa, Hector, Miguel, Nino, Luis, Gema and the two bands, of course.

While you're at it, DJ Morgis (aka Miguel) has a top notch and highly respected goth journal you might want to check out.

If Life Hands You a Lemon, Make Lemonade

A fitting epitaph perhaps for Tammy Faye Messner, a former US TV evangelist who died aged 65 after a long battle with cancer. I take the epitaph as meaning that in life you seize your opportunities, and make the best of what's offered to you. Well she certainly has.

It was ex-husband and also former TV evangelist Jim Bakker who described how Tammy Faye "lived her life like the song she sang, If Life Hands You a Lemon, Make Lemonade."

Or, If Life Hands You The Opportunity To Rip Off Poor Uneducated God-Fearing Fools, Get Grabbing!

Bakker himself was hardly a model Christian. He was embroiled in many scandals during the 1980s. Indeed, fellow TV Evangelist Jerry Falwell (who, incidentally, was also ridiculed by - and later sued - Larry Flynt of Hustler fame, but that's another story) called him "a liar, an embezzler, a sexual deviant," and "the greatest scab and cancer on the face of Christianity in 2,000 years of church history."

Strong words indeed.

Come to think of it, and to quote Blackadder, sounds to me like he was over-qualified in the 'model christian department.'

Bakker was indicted in 1989 on federal charges of fraud, tax evasion, and racketeering. He was sentenced to 45 years in federal prison though he only served 5 of them. He was later welcomed back into the Chruch's unholy bosom.

Tammy Faye and Bakker were divorced in the 90s and she married another Christian criminal, Roe Messner, who was also sent down for two years during the Praise The Lord (PTL) scandal - the same one that saw Bakker indicted. One wonders whether there was also a touch of adultery thrown into the bargain.... after all, from what I can see these are god-fearing christians of the highest order!

Metallica, Anthrax, Suicidal Tendencies and Frank Zappa have all written songs about Bakker and his money-grabbing exploits.

Just like honey

Listen to the girl
As she takes on half the world
Moving up and so alive
In her honey dripping beehive
Beehive
It's good, so good, it's so good
So good

Walking back to you
Is the hardest thing that
I can do
That I can do for you
For you

I'll be your plastic toy
I'll be your plastic toy
For you

Eating up the scum
Is the hardest thing for
Me to do

Just like honey