A fitting epitaph perhaps for Tammy Faye Messner, a former US TV evangelist who died aged 65 after a long battle with cancer. I take the epitaph as meaning that in life you seize your opportunities, and make the best of what's offered to you. Well she certainly has.
It was ex-husband and also former TV evangelist Jim Bakker who described how Tammy Faye "lived her life like the song she sang, If Life Hands You a Lemon, Make Lemonade."
Or, If Life Hands You The Opportunity To Rip Off Poor Uneducated God-Fearing Fools, Get Grabbing!
Bakker himself was hardly a model Christian. He was embroiled in many scandals during the 1980s. Indeed, fellow TV Evangelist Jerry Falwell (who, incidentally, was also ridiculed by - and later sued - Larry Flynt of Hustler fame, but that's another story) called him "a liar, an embezzler, a sexual deviant," and "the greatest scab and cancer on the face of Christianity in 2,000 years of church history."
Strong words indeed.
Come to think of it, and to quote Blackadder, sounds to me like he was over-qualified in the 'model christian department.'
Bakker was indicted in 1989 on federal charges of fraud, tax evasion, and racketeering. He was sentenced to 45 years in federal prison though he only served 5 of them. He was later welcomed back into the Chruch's unholy bosom.
Tammy Faye and Bakker were divorced in the 90s and she married another Christian criminal, Roe Messner, who was also sent down for two years during the Praise The Lord (PTL) scandal - the same one that saw Bakker indicted. One wonders whether there was also a touch of adultery thrown into the bargain.... after all, from what I can see these are god-fearing christians of the highest order!
Metallica, Anthrax, Suicidal Tendencies and Frank Zappa have all written songs about Bakker and his money-grabbing exploits.