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He was caught – whilst under the influence - trying to have sex with a bicycle and has been sentenced to three years probation for his sins.
The story brings a whole new meaning to the idea of shagging the town bike.
Sheriff Colin Miller, who sentenced Stewart, said: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."
No shit.
Full story on the BBC
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